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I’m Not Pretty Enough — And Other Stories We Tell Ourselves

Kirsten Quinn Boudoir

In my studio, everyone is pretty, young and sexy enough for boudoir. So let’s talk about the stories we tell ourselves — and kick them out for good.

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As women, when we hear the word “boudoir,” two things happen immediately.

First, we envision ourselves dripping in pearls and lace, surrounded by all the glamour of a Hollywood photoshoot, and it feels so good.

Then, just as quickly as it came, that beautiful vision fades, as every little thing we hate about our bodies starts clouding our vision one by one … the cellulite, the wrinkles, the imperfections … until what started as a pretty little daydream quickly becomes a long list of all the reasons we’re not perfect.

Cue the little voice that reminds us of all the reasons we’re not enough.

“You think you are pretty enough to have your picture taken? HA! That’s cute.”

“Why are you even doing this? It’s not like you have anyone to show it to.”

“You think you deserve to spend money on pictures of yourself? Why do you deserve that?”

And just like that, we’re back to square one — doubting and denying ourselves, simply for dreaming of a moment where we might feel beautiful.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Boudoir shoot, Santa Clarita boudoir, Santa Clarita boudoir photographer, Santa Clarita boudoir photography, best boudoir photography, Los Angeles boudoir, boudoir in santa Clarita, boudoir photographer Los AngelesWhat if I told you, that didn’t have to be your story?

Ok, let’s talk, woman to woman.

Honey, those are all just the stories you tell yourself.

All day every day, whether we’re women or men, we have a long script of stories running through our heads. They tell us what we are or aren’t worthy of having. They tell who we’re allowed to be, and they dictate the way we see ourselves.

But the thing is: They’re just stories. And like any other story, we can just as easily rewrite them.

So today, I want to take a look at these stories — about our bodies and our worth — and break them down one by one, so we can create our own endings.

The Story: I’m too old to do boudoir.

The Truth: You are never too old to be beautiful. In fact, many women tell me they feel more confident as they age. So, respectfully, I do not accept this story as truth.

More often, we end up telling ourselves we’re too old because we can’t remember what it’s like to feel sexy. And that, my gorgeous friend, is extremely easy to fix with a boudoir session.

If you’re waiting to be 5 years younger before your shoot, I need to tell you the truth: It’s never gonna happen. And in another 5 years, you’re going to look back and wish you did it now.

If you’re still not convinced, check out this blog about why boudoir only gets better with age.

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The Story: I want to lose the weight first.

The Truth: Capturing your body at its most restricted weight is actually not ideal for boudoir.

If you show up for your shoot after two weeks of binge dieting, or even two months of dedicated two-a-days at the gym, you won’t look like the real you. Instead, you look like the ultra-thin version of you, which may not be attainable during any other point in your life.

That means, when you look at your photos months or years later, you’ll see an unattainable version of yourself. You’re looking at yet another “perfect woman” who doesn’t feel like you.

And that’s not empowering — or at least not as empowering as it could be.  

The Story: I can’t spend money on pictures of myself.

Boudoir, Santa Clarita boudoir, Santa Clarita boudoir photographer, Santa Clarita boudoir photography, best boudoir photography, Los Angeles boudoir, boudoir in santa Clarita, boudoir photographer Los AngelesThe Truth: I get it. It can be hard to justify spending money on yourself, especially if others depend on you. But there’s something extremely important you’re forgetting. How we decide to spend our money is just another story we tell ourselves about what’s valuable and what’s not. So think about the message you’re sending yourself and your loved ones.

If you need a day to feel pampered, beautiful and like a desired woman again, then those feelings have value. If you need someone else to show you how gorgeous you are — because you’ve never believed if yourself — then consider how much feeling undesirable costs you.

From my perspective, you at least deserve the basic amount of self worth and love. And how you decide to find that is completely up to you.

The Story: I’m not pretty enough.

The Truth: Of all the reasons why not to shoot boudoir, this one breaks my heart the most. Why? Because this feeling of inadequacy lies at the bottom of every excuse and every fear when it comes to stepping in front of the camera. But, honey, I can promise you one thing: You are absolutely gorgeous enough for my studio.

At the end of the day, we all feel less than, not enough or imperfect in some way, usually many. But that shouldn’t stop us from seeing and celebrating ourselves, from taking more than we think we deserve, from loving ourselves enough to do something simply because it feels good.

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The Stories We Live

No matter what story you’re telling yourself — and regardless of whether or not it leads you to boudoir — make sure you revise it every once in a while. We are growing stronger, braver and more beautiful every day. Don’t waste that growth on an out-of-date story, especially if it’s costing your beautiful boudoir daydreams.

About Lindsay’s Photography for Women

With the mind of a businesswoman and the heart of an adventurer, Lindsay began to conceive of a different kind of Santa Clarita photography business. In her vision, stepping in front of the camera could be an empowering experience that gave her clients more than just a photograph — it would give people a new way of seeing themselves. With an eye for seeing the beauty in life and in others, Lindsay could use the camera to spread beauty.

About SchlickArt Photography and Video

SchlickArt, a boutique photo and video studio in Santa Clarita, started in March 2012 with the simple idea that empowerment creates a kind of beauty and authenticity that shines through every camera lens. Built on a philosophy — rather than a product, service or person — SchlickArt has rapidly evolved, meeting professional portraiture, business photo and business video needs as diverse as the community we capture. It’s the desire to take care of you, the client, that drives us at SchlickArt.